My friend’s baby

At this very moment, a girl I’ve known since first grade is in the hospital, waiting for her baby to be born. Two weeks before her due date, her labour is being induced because of minor complications. And I am nervous as hell.

There is absolutely 100% no doubt in my mind that everything will be okay. She is strong and healthy and the complications are very minor. But since finding out about her being induced a few days ago, I have had butterflies in my stomach.

As it turns out, we are pretty different people. We met in first grade. She had a boyfriend back when I still thought boys were icky (which, admittedly, was pretty late into high school). She started working for a company in university (oh man that’s a while back), and continues to work for them today, having been promoted time and time again. She bought a car. She met her now husband while we were in university too (I may actually have to check Facebook to confirm the timing of this). A few years later they bought a house and got married. And now, of course, they are having their first child. I, on the other hand, am really excited about my new corduroy pants and my half-stove. This is how our lives differ.

Over the years we have grown apart – I hadn’t spoken to her in a few months and didn’t even know she was pregnant until she was 29 weeks along. I’m sad that we’ve grown apart, but I can also understand how and why it happened. We live in different cities, we are at very different places in our lives, our work habits and schedules are different, and I am not the poster child for keeping in contact with people.

And yet, I am anxious about today. She is going to be a phenomenal mom. She is smart and will be an amazing role model for her child. Her husband is equally amazing and her family equally amazing and close by. I know this child will always be surrounded by loving, caring people. I am so proud of her for achieving everything that she has.

So why am I so nervous? First of all, that’s probably a natural human reaction under the circumstances. Also the idea of imagining a friend in pain (for whatever reason) is difficult to deal with. She is also the first of my friends (my own age) to have a child – and that’s a scary, grown up thing to happen to a person.

She’s a MOM now. That’s a world-changing word. There’s a tiny human being that will depend on her for absolutely everything. The same person I’ve known for twenty years will still be in there, but she’ll also have this new descriptor, a new role in life. Her whole life will now revolve around this mini-her.

This is also a reminder that we are a such different spots in our lives. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy where I am in my life and completely, 100% unready for everything that she has. She has always moved through the stages of life a little swifter and more smoothly than I have (although I wore a bra first, so that’s my claim to fame).

I also have a fear that we will have even less in common now. She will of course continue to do the things she loves to do, but she will also attend mommy and me, and change diapers, and start looking at day cares (I guess? I’m not super familiar with parenthood). I will still be partly-employed and doing weird and wonderful challenges, and I won’t have a way to connect over the new things in her life. Will we grow further apart and see each other even less? Or will it be a reason to visit more and reconnect? Hopefully the latter.

So, all day, I’ve been checking my phone and refreshing my Facebook feed, in the hopes of getting a peak at a picture of a new baby, or getting a progress report. I’m pretty much an obsessed person, and I’m alright with it. After all, she’s paving the way for the rest of us.


Update: Mom and baby are both happy and healthy.


Goodbye 2015!

It’s been quite a year for me. I’ve tried lots of new things, learned a bunch about myself, and had some fun along the way. Here are some of the highlights of my 2015:

  • Moved in with my boyfriend. This was a biggie because neither of us have killed each other in the almost 11 months we’ve been living together (because yes, I’m writing this blog post mid-January). Good thing too because I gave my bed away so I’m pretty committed now.
  • Started an herb garden. And kept it mostly alive. They don’t look great and occasionally they go through a prolonged drought, but they’ve been alive since the summer, which is really good for me. (Let’s just turn a blind eye to the orchid I killed.)
  • Got a full time job. And then left said full time job. Sometimes I’ll be doing something and I’ll just stop and think, “I’m so glad I quit my job!” If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have the opportunities and the time that I do to enjoy myself and do things that make me happy and fulfill me.
  • Got into and out of a funk. I got really unhappy toward the end of my full time job and I didn’t realize how unhappy I was until I left that job. All of a sudden it was like a weight had been lifted off of me. I felt more confident, happier, and lighter. A few people commented that they noticed a difference in me. But more importantly, I noticed a difference in me.
  • Started a series of part-time jobs. These part-time are mostly in fields that interest me, and at the very least provide adequate income and don’t take up too much of my time – this allows me to continue doing things that I love, even if they don’t pay.
  • Travelled to Vancouver, Winnipeg, and Montreal, but not on a bike. Vacationing is fun! And it had been quite some time since I had taken a vacation that wasn’t also an epic journey across a country. So that was fun.
  • Started my challenges challenge. Even though this sort of fell off the tracks at the end of the year (I was busy!), it’s back on track now. The challenges challenge has opened me up to new things, and forced me to try things I’d always wanted to try because I have a deadline! Deadlines rock.
  • Found a better balance between saving and spending. I’ve always been a good saver. My credit score is ballin’ (bet that’s the first time anyone’s ever used ballin’ to describe their credit score). This year though, I started spending a bit more money on things I would enjoy – like the occasional nice dinner or new clothes so I don’t look like a homeless person.  I still have a budget and savings and RSPs and all of those fun things, but I also have the memories of the experiences I spent the money on.
  • Bought a stove. OK, half of a stove. And we’re still paying it off. But this is a big showing of commitment for me. A few years ago I had a lot of trouble signing a two year phone contract because I didn’t know where I’d be in two years. At least now, wherever I go, I’ll be bringing half a stove.
  • And of course I had a birthday and matured as a human being and met a bunch of cool people yada yada yada.

All in all, it was an amazing year. Thanks to everyone who made it so special.